Home Control Panel News / Articles AdministrationDetails

News / Articles

The Magic of Traditions

The Nurtured Mommy
THE MAGIC OF TRADITIONS

By: Denise E. Bailey | December 19, 2024

I recently cleaned off our bookshelf to make space for Christmas decorations and also to relieve myself from the guilt of not reading all the parenting books I had purchased. I giggled as I put them in a bag to drop off at Goodwill. I was extremely well intentioned when purchasing them but if I am being honest with myself, I will probably never start reading them when the house finally quiets down around 8pm each night. It was liberating to give them away. There comes a point when we have to quiet our inputs. To me, radical self acceptance combined with inspired action is the only way to be enough in motherhood and beyond.

One of the books was about how to make memories for our children. I feel like the suggestions were kind of like the concept of buying the perfect gift only to find your child playing with and/or in the box. They sounded amazing but in the end it’s the little moments that create memories.

We traveled to Los Angeles to see family over the Thanksgiving holiday. It was so amazing to be back. The last time our girls got to be with the Bailey family on Thanksgiving was 2019. We lived in LA for four years before moving back to the Bay Area. We brought our girls to The Grove, Santa Monica Promenade for a movie, SlooMoo Slime Museum (which is amazing), and to our favorite mexican restaurant. We were crushing parenting or so we thought. But as we were driving home from the airport we asked each of our girls to share their favorite part of the trip. All three mentioned something that wasn’t curated and/or planned at all. Our oldest said being at the beach for hours together playing in the sand with no toys; our middle (by four minutes) said playing dominoes with her great aunt; and our youngest said playing cards with her second cousin. They loved the moments with deep connection, and presence.

In 2008 my husband and I started the tradition of going to pick out our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving (Black Friday). It has become such a special part of our holidays and officially kicks off the season. Then on the Saturday after, we go help my mom set up her tree (especially since my dad passed away in 2017).

Every year of my life, my mom buys me an ornament that symbolizes something important that happened. When I became a teacher, she got me a glass apple. When we got engaged, she bought me a ring. She always writes my name and the year. She started this for my husband too back in 1998 when we met in college (apparently she knew he was the one). And she does this for our daughters, my brothers, my SIL and my nieces as well. When I got married, she gave me all of my ornaments, minus a few of her favorites, plus ornaments from my grandma. And when our daughters move out, I will do the same for them.

Our tree is more than just a place to put presents under. It is filled with memories. It shows me the life that I’ve lived. This simple tradition has become one of my most cherished. I was blessed to have so many as a child. The holidays always equaled magic, birthdays too.

This holiday season I invite you to care less about what it all looks like and more about what it feels like. These babies are only in our homes for so long. It is our job to raise them to leave and when they do we won’t get these loud, busy, and magical moments anymore. Be present in the life you’ve created and take a moment to remember when you used to dream about it all.

Questions for Reflection:

What is one childhood tradition that you’d love to pass on to your child(ren)?
What feeling do you want to cultivate in your home during this busy time?
Can you remember how old you were when you first dreamed of the life you are living?

Denise is a coffee lover, over-sharer, and truth seeker who is dedicated to vulnerably discussing the not-so-pretty parts of this beautiful role of motherhood. She is inspired by her three daughters to help women manage their expectations, let go of perfectionism, and lean into their enoughness. Denise is a certified Early Childhood Educator (ECE) and K-8 Multiple Subject Clear Credentialed Teacher who has taught it all from preschool to middle school. Read more from Denise under The Crier: Online Archive.