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At Home with ADHD
JUNE IS FOR CELEBRATIONS

By: Lannette Guerra   |   June 2, 2022

It’s been six months since I began educating myself on all things ADHD. It has been all in the name of love—to help my young daughter and release some pressures at home, which my husband has to carry due to our executive functioning blind spots. I dislike using the term “executive function,” as it carries the negative cognition that people with ADHD will always lack in this department. But we’re a little stubborn in our household, and we like to fight misconceptions with action.

 

I don’t want to brag; who am I kidding? I’m bragging. We are kicking ADHD’s bootie, and we are thriving. From great heartache due to lack of education on the matter has come an incredible transformation in our household. The healing process? Not over. Perfection? Never happening. But the light at the end of the tunnel is bright. So, on that note, we will take this month to celebrate progress. We will also celebrate dads and gather with family and friends to commemorate birthdays and graduations.

 

June is named after the Roman goddess, Juno, patroness of marriage, and from the Latin meaning “young people.” What better time to reflect on the men and women we married when we were all “young people” and appreciate how they have grown alongside us and supported our dreams, families, and household.

 

Women are powerhouses, but we cannot do it alone; we need a community to raise kids. For some of us, we partnered with men and women who, despite it all, have not lost their sanity. I know this well since, as a person with ADHD, I always forget where I’ve left my keys, and my husband has ceased turning into the Hulk. The man, now, has the patience of a saint, and I know he is not alone. Many other dads and non-traditional families hold it together by pure magical grit. Some, to provide, don’t spend much time at home. That doesn’t make them less supportive members of the family. A working family unit can look different for each of us; the traditional roles of men and women can also be reversed.

 

This month, I asked the man I met 18 years ago and married what skills he contributes most and which ones he wishes he could wave a magic wand and gift me with. I wish we all had a window into the mind of a dad living in a household full of ADHD, so I will share mine for today.

 

He makes sure:

• People are well-fed
• The car has proper tire pressure
• That all the data is backed up
• There is milk in the fridge
• The mail is picked up
• The carpets don’t have stains
• The taxes are filed correctly
• The trash is out on trash day
• The trash cans are empty
• The cars are charged and have gas
• The bills are paid on time
• Everyone brushes their teeth
• The dog is fed and walked
• We stay on budget with household expenses
• The thermostat is set where it’s supposed to be
• No ashes are in the fireplace
• Laundry gets done
• The rodents stay away
• The cars are clean
• The electronics are charged
• There are enough toiletries
• There is coffee in the morning

Dad does a ton, doesn’t he? Wait a minute, though. My list is long too! However, this is not a competition; it's a partnership.

 

Do you want to know his answer to the magic wand question?

 

Here it is:

“I wish you would remember where the keys are and put them back where they belong.”

 

There you have it, folks. I wish I could say “no problem,” but that would be a lie. I know the keys will be in their place most of the time, but there will always be a 20% margin of error because perfection is subjective.

 

Thank you, Dads, for all you do. Thank you for the smiles and the jokes and for making us mothers and looking after our well-being. May you enjoy the summer and find time to kick up your feet and revel in all the celebrations. And for the mommies with ADHD, let’s make fanny packs great again and not forget the keys at the barbecue.

 

And whatever you do, DO NOT LEAVE THE KEYS IN THE CAR! Having your car stolen is a pain (wink).

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