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Stepping Into the Woman You’re Becoming

Style Savvy
STEPPING INTO THE WOMAN YOU’RE BECOMING

By: Christine Tusher | March 3, 2026

I recently hosted a webinar for members of the Southern Marin Mothers Club on body type and personal style. During the Q&A, a woman bravely shared a challenge that so many of my clients struggle with. She’d been either pregnant or postpartum for the past five years and now, as she was finally emerging from that season, she found herself standing in front of her closet unsure of what to wear.

This change of life and the challenges that come with it is one of the most common reasons women come to me seeking personal style support. And while it’s true that the experience of rediscovering your personal style is truly transformative, the moment is about more than just finding a new look. It’s about learning to listen to yourself again.

Why This Moment Feels So Disorienting

Moms of infants and toddlers tend to live in functional clothing for a long stretch of time. That often means comfy, stretchy, kid-friendly wash-and-go athleisure pieces, or office-appropriate pieces for days when you need to be working in-person. As a result, personal expression through style often goes quiet. But your sense of style hasn’t disappeared, it’s just not necessary for surviving the day.

When this chapter ends, you may feel overwhelmed and less than confident. Older pieces you loved no longer flatter your new body shape, and you may feel unsure what ‘s “cool” or “appropriate for a mom.”

But this doesn’t mean your taste has vanished. It means your internal landscape has changed. Rediscovering your sense of style therefore requires a mindset shift. Instead of getting dressed purely based on what works for any given day, you need to figure out what feels good for you and works for your life as it is now. It means asking yourself “What do I like?” instead of making your style decisions based on what someone else wears or thinks.

Here are three low-effort steps you can take to reclaim your personal style and your confidence.

Step One: Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself

Clients in this stage of life often express feelings of choice fatigue and overwhelm when it comes to personal style. When we meet for our initial consultation, they often tell me they don’t know what’s cool anymore and use an example of a stylish friend or relative who seems to have it all figured out. They want to be more like that person, but they don’t know how. As a result, they feel “less than.”

They say things like:

“I should wear more of my wardrobe, but I don’t know how.”
“I should dress better, but I feel lost and end up wearing the same outfit over and over again.”
“I should pay more attention to fashion, but I don’t have the time.”

I always tell them the same thing: Stop shoulding all over yourself. The only thing you “should” be doing is being kind to yourself. So, when you catch yourself “shoulding,” reframe it as a question that helps you reclaim a sense of control.

Do I want to wear these individual pieces?
Do I want to wear a completely different outfit every day, or do I want to create a low-maintenance uniform for myself?
Do I want to incorporate trends, or do I want to fully embrace a more classic style of dressing?

Asking yourself what you want transforms negative self-talk into a solution-oriented mindset and helps you reconnect with your sense of style.

Step Two: Save, Don’t Shop

Many of my clients come to me with a closet full of clothes they don’t wear. Many times, these mistake purchases were inspired by an influencer’s feed.

On the surface, shopping on your favorite creator’s LTK provides a more curated experience that can feel less overwhelming. But algorithms show you what performs well, not what’s actually right for your life or your body. This often leads to clothes that are objectively nice, but don’t flatter your body, work for your lifestyle, or pair well with anything in your closet.

Instead of immediately purchasing an outfit or piece you like, screenshot it and save it to a dedicated note on your phone. I recommend titling it something like “Looks I Like” to reinforce the idea that this is a process of curation, not a to-do list.

I also recommend saving:

Photos of outfits you see in the real world
Selfies of outfits you felt really good wearing
Beautifully styled images from retail sites and online magazines

Remember: algorithms are built to show you what gets the most engagement, not what works for your body or your life. Keeping your mood board separate from Pinterest or Instagram, empowers you to take more ownership of your style.

Step Three: Identify Repetition Over Time

After just a few weeks, you will have created a non–algorithmic feed full of styles you’re organically attracted to. Review your mood board every month or two and ask yourself:

Are there common colors or themes between all these looks? If so, what are they?
What do I have in my closet that could replicate this vibe?
What’s preventing me from dressing like this right now?

The last question is key. If the answer is “I don’t have the right pieces,” or “I don’t know how,” then your next step is to proactively solve this problem through shopping, expert help, or both. But if the answer is “I don’t have anywhere to wear this” or “This doesn’t work for my body,” then delete the photo.

In this way, you’ll begin to recognize and refine your taste without that “should” feeling, And when you do feel called to go shopping, you can measure every piece against the benchmark you’ve set via your mood board.

Stepping into the woman you’re becoming requires attention, patience, and a willingness to put yourself first in small and subtle ways.

You don’t need to become someone new. You’re simply dressing for your next era.

Christine Tusher is a personal stylist and the founder of Christine Elise Style. She empowers women to rediscover their personal style and infuse their wardrobe with excitement and ease. Christine offers color analysis, closet audits, and personal shopping both remotely and in person to Bay Area clients. You can learn more about her at christineelisestyle.com