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5 Tips on Finding Your Mom Tribe

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By: Denise Bailey   |   August 26, 2021

Motherhood brings a lot of changes. Some we expect and some we could never in a million years predict. Through all of these, the one thing that stays consistent is our need for human connection. Friendships allow us to be seen, heard and hugged, and mom friendships are their own specific breed.

Here are five tips on how to find, and nourish, your Mom Tribe:

1. Put Yourself Out There
You already understand the value of this or you wouldn’t be an SMMC member. I challenge you to show up to an SMMC playdate or event. Try attending a local kid’s music class. Go to the park in your neighborhood. Talk to the person at work who seems to be in a similar stage as you. Not every mama is going to be your new BFF so the more you get out there, the sooner you’ll find your peeps.

2. Pay Attention to Your Energy 
Okay, so now you are out and about trying your hardest to find your people. And you have a few new friendships forming but sometimes you do not necessarily feel excited to connect. Pay attention! This is your intuition talking to you. 

“Mompetition” is real. It sucks you in and before you know it, your ego is sparked and the struggle sets in. Back away. This is not the right vibe for your well-being. 

You can work on your enoughness separately, and there no need to challenge yourself with a fake mom-friend. We are who we hang out with, so choose wisely who is worthy of your time and energy. 

3. Share The Love
Once you find some like-minded women to hang out with, allow yourselves to beg, borrow, and steal from each other. This could be sharing camp signup information or lending ski bibs. Keep inviting more mamas into the group. Not everyone will stick around, but make sure to open up the network so it can grow.

4. Be Vulnerable
Show up as your authentic self. This is the only way to free others to also be themselves. Chat with each other about your challenges, hold each other accountable for the work that needs to be done and consistently keep it real. 

Share your truths and commit to evolving together. 

5. Nurture Your Friendships
Give and take from each other. Nurture each other and allow yourself to be nurtured. If your children don’t mesh then don’t force it. Instead make a monthly dinner date (before, during, or after bedtime) or even a yearly girls’ trip. 

Remember friendships can last for a season, reason or a lifetime. No matter how long, they are essential. Be the friend you want to have. 

Motherhood has changed me to my core. In some ways, it has symbolically become a rebirth of my essence. I am beyond grateful for my daughters, but parenting is hard. These beautiful souls mirror our blind spots and force us to love ourselves enough to commit to evolving while also showing up every day to parent. In order to raise whole-hearted women, I have to be one. It’s time to level up, share my story, inspire others to share theirs, and have real conversations around this often rose-colored topic. Welcome to my column!

Denise Bailey is on a mission to to help women transition into and through the various Phases of Motherhood. As a former educator and mama of three she now fully understands that the journey to enoughness requires a tremendous amount of self-compassion and self-care. She is inspired by her three daughters to help women manage their expectations, let go of perfectionism, and lean into the beautiful mess. You can follow Denise @TheNurturedMommy and learn more about this movement at
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