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By: Denise E. Bailey | March 30, 2022
My husband always tells me you can't control the traffic or the weather. It is both very true and very frustrating at times. We spend the summer months wishing it was cooler, the fall months hoping it will rain, the winter months waiting for the storm to end, and the spring months wanting it to be warmer.
We spend so much time complaining that we forget when we are in the season we were just hoping for. Suddenly our wish isn't enough and we are stuck wanting more.
I feel like I have weathered so many storms lately. I used to wait for there to be peace, but I've learned that peace is found internally, not given. As a child growing up with a rare bone disease, I quickly found comfort in control. I had my first break when I was just eight years old from falling while walking up the stairs. That fall triggered over three years of multiple fractures, hospital visits, wheelchairs, crutches, physical therapy, and surgeries. I wanted to have control over my bones, but they just kept breaking.
My mom has always worn rose-colored glasses. At times, I found it hard because I'd wonder if she was really aware of all that was really going on. I had a huge epiphany a few months ago when I realized that without her tinted lenses I would be scared to do and/or try everything. To her core she believes that everything will be okay, even when it isn't. Her example of blind faith somehow gave me an unbreakable spirit, but, boy, is it hard sometimes to believe when we can't see.
Unexplained infertility, failed IVF transfers, California wildfires, losing my father and mother-in-law the month our twins were born, social unrest, the global pandemic, and now a war are just some of the storms I have experienced. That is not to say that there hasn't been fear, anxiety, regret, suffering, and/or pain. These storms are a part of life. I keep waiting for them to end, but they keep coming. And the truth is...I am okay; we are okay. At this very moment while I write this article, I have a warm home, food in my refrigerator, and our daughters are sleeping upstairs. Yes, I am worried about the fate of the world. Yes, my heart breaks for the families fleeing air strikes.
Maybe there is something to be said about the lenses we put in our glasses. Maybe rose-colored glasses provide a sometimes needed and healthy dose of perspective. They may shade the light, but they don't block the view. Find your own truth. Feel all the feels you need, there is so much going on. And then commit to believing that the storm is providing water for the wildfires. Believe no matter what, every season has a reason. Even when it seems crazy…believe.
Denise Bailey is on a mission to to help women transition into and through the various Phases of Motherhood. As a former educator and mama of three she now fully understands that the journey to enoughness requires a tremendous amount of self-compassion and self-care. She is inspired by her three daughters to help women manage their expectations, let go of perfectionism, and lean into the beautiful mess. You can follow Denise @TheNurturedMommy and learn more about this movement at thenurturedmommy.com
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